sorry, was supposed to say cleansing - not cleaning - although that may apply...

Hi. I'm new to the lemurian crystal. My bf has introduced it to me to help me recoveried from depressive symptoms. I used to look at 1 crystal from one site and the crystal made me wanted to meditate and when I meditated, my head was light.. and overly light overtime. Now that I own one myself. When I first held it, eventhough I was talking to my bf, it felt unconditional love and warm to my mind and I wanted to keep staring at it. Somehow, I wasn't sure that the crystal wants to be with me.

While I was with the crystal alone (the same say I have it, which is today) it somehow removes all my negative feelings as if I see no point of getting hurt and I understand people much better. But after a while, my head got too light and i cannot concentrate on my studies and I find myself trying to block the energy and think negatively about the crystal and afraid that the crystal will not like me. I thought why the crystal would want to be with someone as bad as i am. But still while I was with the crystal it seems as if i am not emotional; I see other people my friends (no prejudice) and i felt that whenever I start to feel hurt, the crystal took away my emotion. i'm very clear about it.

After I have returned home, I tried to meditate with it as many suggestions say on the internet. I normally couldn't meditate well by myself (heavy headed). Once I stares at the crystal this time, I had an urge to vomit and I really did vomit. I now respected the crystal more than loving it and tried to meditate with it. It cleared the heavy headed symptoms on the back of my head and gave me quite a strange experience. there is buzz of energy as I touched it with my forehead and moved it around. But after I got off meditation, it felt so stuffed headed.

Because the experience wasn't smooth and I saw that most people have a better connection with their crystals, I'm not sure whether it is because I was not doing it right/ i have problems that the crystal needs to slowly tune me, or that it doesn't want to be with me. At times when i get headache, I don't feel its energy at all.

Do you have any ideas on how I should use it? (it tells me to place it on my palms and puts my palm down on the floor and keep staring at it while I first was trying to meditate with it. This didn't give me headache. But i'm not sure if it was just my mind tells. does the crystal really talk?) Like now I feels that it loves me and that it wants to take care of me.

I hope this would sound a bit more like a word of the healthy headed person.
thank you for any reply.. and excuse my poor english since i'm not a native english speaker and i'm still on my way trying to improve my english communication skill.

with love

My crystals "leave me" all the time. I use them a lot in my work in various ways and they let me know when they're supposed to go home with someone else. Just yesterday a pretty hefty smokey quartz went home with someone I was working with, I recall spending a decent am't of money on it, but in that moment it didn't matter...I just knew it wasn't mine anymore and it was no big deal. I know it will be of great service to the woman who now holds it now.

I recently went to the music festival Gathering of the Vibes in CT. The morning before I left i sat down to make some wraps for trading, bartering, gifting...whatever was to come. I had a great big amethyst point (but still small enough to wear). I wrapped it very simply in copper, and a I wrapped an ammonite fossil. I brought with me some loose green tourmalines. This was all I "felt" moved to make and bring with me. The ammonite I traded for a hula hoop for my daughter. and I traded two pieces of tourmaline for a homemade faery made of flower petals(again for my daughter) . the amethyst I tried to wear myself, but I was clearly told it was not for me. I had thought perhaps by wearing it I would attract the owner to me. Instead it went into my bag and indeed the moment came for the amethyst to meet it's new owner. There was alot more to the message as to why she needed and how she could use the crystal, but that's not for me to post here. I just love experiences like these. Glad to hear from others who listen to their crsytals. :-)
Many Blessings,
Jessie